Today we learn about openly looking at our relationships and learning from them. A relationship can give you insight into your true self.
Day 14 – The Mirror of Relationship Tells the Truth
I rejoice in what the mirror of relationship shows me.
Samprati Hum (My true self is wide awake.)
MESSAGE OF THE DAY
Today’s meditation teaches us that the strong reactions we have in different aspects of our relationships can be an indispensable tool in understanding unconscious areas of our life that need work or healing. Relationships hold up a mirror for us to see what we usually ignore or deny. The main truth to gain from the mirror of relationship is self-acceptance – that you are okay right now, just as you are.
Journal Reflection Questions:
1. Reflect on a relationship in which the other person has a quality or qualities you truly dislike or disapprove of. Use one-word adjectives to describe this, such as haughty, stubborn, arrogant, insincere, dishonest, controlling, victimized, domineering. Now, without judgment or blame, look within and journal about the possibility that you are talking about something in yourself that is very hard to admit to. How those qualities manifest may be different in each of you, so use your true self to evaluate how these traits show up within yourself.
2. Without blaming yourself, list ways you can be more aware in recognizing your blind spots. Next to each negative adjective write “forgiveness,” and sitting with your eyes closed, forgive the other person and yourself at the same time. How did it feel when you did this? If you aren’t sure, practice this a few times and tune in to any changes you experience. If your feelings are deeply negative, don’t reach for false forgiveness. Just say, “From now on, I will be aware of this without judgment.” This is an exercise you can do any time your buttons are pushed.
3. Write down situations that repeatedly turn out badly or leave you frustrated in a relationship. For example, fighting over money, feeling stressed or pushed around, feeling unappreciated, not being shown respect, etc. Now reflect on how to turn this into a win-win situation for yourself. This means that you adopt the viewpoint that you are being given the perfect opportunity to heal something in yourself; therefore, you are grateful for this opportunity rather than resentful and filled with blame. Make self-healing your priority. Journal about some steps you can take to toward healing each of these issues, such as finding your own peace, learning how to be centered, walking away from negative encounters, stop trying to change the other person, or seeking professional advice or therapy.
4. Reflect further on your experience today.
“Relationship is a mirror in which you can see yourself, not as you would wish to be, but as you are.” – Jidda Krishnamurti